20: Care of the Soul

Sharing some delicious quotes and personal reflections today about the book Care of the Soul, but first, here's a letter I wrote to my sister Esther in California. Note who the speakers were at the communion breakfasts we hosted in the high school that year.

March 5, 1994

Dear Esther,

     I know this is not the same as a birthday card, but I wanted to write to you anyway. How are things with you? Do you enjoy living in the new apartment? How is your car running? (You may prefer to answer these questions to yourself... answering out loud will probably make others think that you are crazy)

     Well, all is well with me. I am doing well with my studies at Manhattan College and am looking forward to a successful semester. I am currently listed as undecided for my major, although I intend to major in English Literature. I have not begun any of my studies for my major, so I will begin to do so in the fall of 1995. This is because beginning in June of this year, until roughly May of 1995, I will take courses which coincide with my novitiate year.

     During this upcoming year, I will take courses at Manhattan in the fields of philosophy, religion, and psychology, as well as special courses taught to me at home by my religious superiors. My novitiate year will culminate with my first profession of temporary vows, marking my official entrance into the Society of Mary as a religious Brother. 

     I look forward to the coming year with great anticipation as I continue to grow in wisdom of God, myself, and others. Since the day I make my vows is such an important day for me, I will be asked to invite my family to come to Chaminade to celebrate with me. On this day in 1995, my family is welcome to see the house, my room, and meet the other Brothers. Because this event is so special to me, I would like very much for you to join me in prayer and celebration on that day. It will probably be in May of 1995, so please mark that month on your calendar.

     I write to you on Saturday, March 5, 1994. Tomorrow we are having a communion breakfast for the freshmen and junior students and their parents. Our guest speaker is Dr. William Donahue, President of the Catholic League of New York and a major fighter for the Right to Life movement. He, along with the parents, will join us for Mass in the school auditorium and then breakfast in the school gymnasium. It should prove to be a nice morning.
    
     Next Sunday, we are having another communion breakfast for the sophomore and senior class students and their parents. The guest speakers for that will be Patti and Stephen McDonald, the latter being the officer who was shot on duty and who publicly forgave his assailant. Stephen lost the use of his legs completely and also requires special devices to help him to speak. I am anxious to hear all of our guests speak on the next two Sundays.

     On March 16, 1994, I will take my road test. As you may or may not know, my original test was cancelled due to excessive snow and terrible driving conditions. Our Lady of Lourdes helped me on that day, as I did not feel that I was ready anyway.  Perhaps St. Patrick will help me on the eve of his feast day! I thank you and your prayer group very much for praying for me and I ask for your prayers once again on the 16th. 

     On the weekend of March 18, 19, and 20, I will be on retreat at Meribah, our retreat house in Muttontown. This will be a special retreat centered on the Enneagram, a personality system which I am learning and loving! If you find any books on this system in your local book store, I strongly recommend that you buy one or two. The Enneagram system is going to bring a great revival to our Church--I hope!

     Well, I just went on to page two and my watch is telling me that I should go and get ready for evening prayer and office of readings for the Third Sunday in Lent. Please keep me in your prayers as I remember you and your friends in your prayer group in my thoughts and prayers. I love you and miss you always. Please write back soon.

                                              Sincerely Yours in Christ Jesus,
                                            Brother Sean Patrick Brennan, S.M.

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During Lent of 1994 (2/16 through 4/2), I read a book called Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. It's filled cover to cover with verbal gems, so I wrote down several favorites at the time, and offer some here along with my own thoughts 27 years later. If you skip my reflections, please at least read the quotes, as each one is wonderful!


"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination."
- John Keats

As a young monk, certainty was encouraged, especially certainty of the teachings of Roman Catholicism. I smile to read this quote today, not just because of its perennial beauty, but also because 18-year-old Sean was already so clearly swept up with romanticism.


"We all depend on each other every minute of the day." -Thomas Moore

In the monastery, one monk was in charge of making several pots of coffee and setting out breakfast items for the community, another made sure the bills got paid; two knew in advance they were in charge of making dinner that night (along with a designated Cinderfella), and another was in charge of doing the grocery shopping for the week. Everyone there did something, and most did several somethings. It was a thing of beauty!


"The way through the world is more difficult to find than the way beyond it."
-Wallace Stevens

If life had its struggles before I joined the religious life, my eyes were soon opened to just as many if not more challenges inside the walls of the monastery.


"Most of us bring to everyday life a somewhat naive psychological attitude in our expectations that our lives and relationships will be simple. Love of the soul asks for some appreciation for its complexity."
-Thomas Moore

Here on page 14 was a reminder I very much needed to read that Lent, that life was not supposed to be simple, and the kind of life I was choosing to live for God and his church was meant to be gloriously complex.


"Care of the soul...sees every fall into ignorance and confusion as an opportunity to discover that the beast residing at the center of the labyrinth is also an angel." -Thomas Moore

Now here's a quote that speaks to volumes of emotional education and years of religious life I still didn't have as an 18-year-old freshman in college and a first-year Young Brother. My Novice Master, Fr. Francis Keenan, sometimes said, "no pain, no gain" with a smile, and while I knew this to often be true in life, neither was it any easier to experience.


"In a family, you live close to people that otherwise you might not even want to talk to." -Thomas Moore

While the quote makes me laugh today when I think of family members I grew up with who, though I love, I would never ever live with again, I read this while living in a monastery with 33 other men. Not only was I not close with all of them, but even after four years of beautiful, shared life experiences, some of them positively scared me.


"A genuine odyssey is not about piling up experiences. It is a deeply felt, risky, unpredictable tour of the soul." -Thomas Moore

As a writer, even back then, and as a young man who'd made a very brave decision to give up all his earthly belongings to join a religious order, this quote more than any other taught me that what I was living through was far less about everything I saw with my eyes and much more to do with what was changing within me.


"We are who we are as much because of our gaps and failures as because of our strengths." -Thomas Moore

My gaps and failures were all too obvious to my religious superiors, and sometimes brought up too often as well (you can hurt a guy more than help him if you really want to), but I learned in those four years when I was Brother Sean that who I was inside was someone very special. Though my flaws and struggles took center stage more often than I would have liked, I came to understand that each imperfect part of me was another piece of kindling for a great fire of triumph still burning as merely a twinkle in my 18-year-old eye.

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These quotes, and the time I took to write them down in my journals, are evidence I was actively caring for my soul all the time, even if I still struggled with how best to do so. The book was published in 1992, and it turns out that the author published its equally popular sequel, Soul Mates, in March 1994, just as I was reading Care of the Soul. You better believe that book never made its way into my bookshelf throughout my time as a monk, however.

Coming Next Week: Aspiring to Be a Novice